My journey to thankfulness

I had it all figured out. I mean what 15 year old doesn't? I dreamed of my big wedding on a daily basis followed by gorgeous honeymoon to Europe and then coming home to a huge house that belonged to my husband and I.

I remember thinking about our kids. The kind of mother and homemaker I would be. I was going to be the cliche' 50's mom that you would see on those old TV shows. I was going to be that mom who had their kids in order but was able to do it in a loving way. I was going to be a fun mom that always danced in the kitchen in heels while making pancakes from scratch. I was that mom and I refused to be anything else.

This was my life. The life I planned to have. It was a life where even though I loved Jesus I really didn't need Him. Because in my life. It would have been perfect.

And then. Reality hit...

My best friend Leon and I were babies when we got married at barely 20. He had no money, I had no money and neither did our families. But with the help of friends and the money we were able to save we had a beautiful small wedding of 40 people. For four years we lived with his mom and sister who were at the time trying to get on their feet as well. And now with two beautiful girls we are living in a humble, tiny apartment with my family of four and one on the way. 

And instead of being a the mom I had thought for myself I turned out to be quiet different. Instead of having it all together I live off of perfect grace and renewal and not so much having all my stuff together however, I still like to dance in the kitchen. I tell my friends that my kids took my brain and all I have is The Holy Spirit.. ;)

So where am I going with this?? 

I've struggled with ungratefulness and I've cried many times due to things not happening quick enough in my life but now I can honestly say I am grateful and happier than most who are what you would say "living the American dream". And on the days I find myself feeling the need to compare I always return to this verse:

 "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." -Philippians 4:11-12 .

I'm grateful and joyful even. I have the peace that passes understanding within me not because my life is perfect but because I realize the awesome truth of the perfect Father who has my life. And to be honest, I love this life way better than the life I had planned for myself for these reasons: Because with my husband working as a Police officer doing 24/7 shifts at times I am aware of my need for a God who gives strength. When we're in need of a financial miracle I am aware of a God who provides and has never failed too. When I've yelled at my children too many times, let them watch way too much TV and an abundance of fruit snacks just so I could take a shower by myself I am aware of a loving Father who lovingly gives out rest and grace upon amazing grace to a tired mama.

I am aware of Him. The beauty of God. Where if I did have everything the world seeks in this life, I might have missed what would really give me joy and what would really give me freedom. Jesus. And in this journey I also make people aware of Jesus in my life because they just don't get why I'm so darn happy.

I'm not saying I still don't dream of my beautiful house with farm porch and beautiful back yard. I think about it quite often along with all of my dreams. And I know without a doubt it's in my future but until then It is well with my peaceful soul.

Right now it would appear that my family doesn't have much. And if I were to see myself today six years ago I probably would have agreed. But as we continue to seek first God's kingdom and build our Kingdom in Him and not the world we do and will continue to have everything.

~ Love

Heather

+Arrows and Warriors

Meet Heather -  Heather is a 25 year old wife to a Police officer and mama to two beautiful girls and one due in April 2017. The motherhood community holds a very special place in Heather's heart and with that Passion God called her to start a website called Arrows and warriors. A place to encourage and equip moms in all walks of life. Heather loves to go on adventures with her children, go on coffee dates and believes in dreaming big and She believes that changing the world first starts at home.

Heather is a friend and  fellow writer on Motherhood Inspired. When I was asking her about thankfulness and my thoughts for this month's blog, she jumped in and said she knew just what she wanted y'all to hear! Go and check out her website : www.arrowsandwarriors.org