I had
it all figured out. I mean what 15 year old doesn't? I dreamed of my big
wedding on a daily basis followed by gorgeous honeymoon to Europe and
then coming home to a huge house that belonged to my husband and I.
I
remember thinking about our kids. The kind of mother and homemaker I
would be. I was going to be the cliche' 50's mom that you would see on
those old TV shows. I was going to be that mom who had their kids in
order but was able to do it in a loving way. I was going to be a fun mom
that always danced in the kitchen in heels while making pancakes from
scratch. I was that mom and I refused to be anything else.
This
was my life. The life I planned to have. It was a life where even
though I loved Jesus I really didn't need Him. Because in my life. It
would have been perfect.
And then. Reality hit...
My
best friend Leon and I were babies when we got married at barely 20. He
had no money, I had no money and neither did our families. But with the
help of friends and the money we were able to save we had a beautiful
small wedding of 40 people. For
four years we lived with his mom and sister who were at the time trying
to get on their feet as well. And now with two beautiful girls we are
living in a humble, tiny apartment with my family of four and one on the
way.
And
instead of being a the mom I had thought for myself I turned out to be
quiet different. Instead of having it all together I live off of perfect
grace and renewal and not so much having all my stuff together however,
I still like to dance in the kitchen. I tell my friends that my kids
took my brain and all I have is The Holy Spirit.. ;)
So where am I going with this??
I've
struggled with ungratefulness and I've cried many times due to things
not happening quick enough in my life but now I can honestly say I am
grateful and happier than most who are what you would say "living the American dream". And on the days I find myself feeling the need to
compare I always return to this verse:
"I
am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be
content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and
I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being
content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether
living in plenty or in want." -Philippians 4:11-12 .
I'm
grateful and joyful even. I have the peace that passes understanding
within me not because my life is perfect but because I realize the
awesome truth of the perfect Father who has my life. And to be honest, I
love this life way better than the life I had planned for myself for
these reasons: Because with my husband working as a Police officer doing
24/7 shifts at times I am aware of my need for a God who gives
strength. When we're in need of a financial miracle I am aware of a God
who provides and has never failed too. When I've yelled at my children
too many times, let them watch way too much TV and an abundance of fruit
snacks just so I could take a shower by myself I am aware of a loving
Father who lovingly gives out rest and grace upon amazing grace to a
tired mama.
I
am aware of Him. The beauty of God. Where if I did have everything the
world seeks in this life, I might have missed what would really give me
joy and what would really give me freedom. Jesus. And in this journey I
also make people aware of Jesus in my life because they just don't get
why I'm so darn happy.
I'm
not saying I still don't dream of my beautiful house with farm porch
and beautiful back yard. I think about it quite often along with all of
my dreams. And I know without a doubt it's in my future but until then
It is well with my peaceful soul.
~ Love
Heather
Meet Heather - Heather is a 25 year old wife to a Police officer and mama to two beautiful girls and one due in April 2017. The motherhood community holds a very special place in Heather's heart and with that Passion God called her to start a website called Arrows and warriors. A place to encourage and equip moms in all walks of life. Heather loves to go on adventures with her children, go on coffee dates and believes in dreaming big and She believes that changing the world first starts at home.
Heather is a friend and fellow writer on Motherhood Inspired. When I was asking her about thankfulness and my thoughts for this month's blog, she jumped in and said she knew just what she wanted y'all to hear! Go and check out her website : www.arrowsandwarriors.org
