Permanent in the midst of chaos

The week has been busy. It started off as a rat race with appointments, baseball games, end of school year parties, and play dates. Leaving you scrambling around and distracted most mornings. Your quiet times have been scarce, but when you have had them, they have been interrupted. Interrupted by to-do-lists, things you forget, sleepiness from all the busyness, or by the toddler at your feet trying to get your attention.

Sound familiar?

For me, this has been true the last week or so. It is in these times where I feel most overwhelmed in this motherhood job. I feel frustrated that I'm doing dishes again. Mad about the 7 loads of laundry I just folded that ended up on the floor, instead of put away. Upset and easily provoked at every little whine, tantrum, and screaming conflict between my boys. I do a lot of complaining and grumbling in my heart and out loud. Throwing my own pity party. 

There is also a lot of questioning my mothering skills. Questions of why don't they listen? What am I doing wrong? Am I enabling them to act this way? Why can't they just be kind?

My hearts turns to my own independence and skills and forgets my need for Christ. I depend on myself to maintain and get things done and then my own sinful heart truly shines through. I get lost in the everyday mundane tasks and frustrated with them. Once I lose my focus it can easily go down hill from there.

This is where I found myself recently. I recognized it yet I couldn't slam on the breaks. My heart and my body were screaming you need to chill, yet my mouth and my actions just kept spewing out words and actions that were the opposite. I was out of control and knew I needed help.

Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is great at convicting us of our own sin. I knew that I needed His help but also needed accountability. So I called one of my dear friends, finally breaking down. Crying out to her that it was a rough week and that I was spewing out of control, I needed prayer. As I drove my car, tears running down, she came before our Father asking Him to reach down and redeem my day and week. On my behalf even amid her own crazy life she stopped and prayed over me.

I love how God places people in our lives. Ones who can speak truth and recognize our need to be pointed back to Him. Dear friends who call to just check in and can tell by my voice when I just need to be prayed for. Not only did my dear friend who I reached out to pray over me, but another dear friend called that evening to check-in and just pray for our families and marriages. God's timing is so good y'all. He used dear friends, to help me refocus and realign my attention and my heart.

Praise the Lord for his kindness and forgiveness.That after such a rough week of completing losing my focus from my true Savior, he accepts my request for forgiveness and welcomes me back saying "I love you daughter."

Today, if you are like me - having lost your focus and running around thinking you can manage on your own, may I gently point you back to truth. He is there in the midst of the chaotic schedules, waiting for us, to just talk to Him and lean on Him. If you have taken your eyes off Him, my prayer is that He points you back to Him or places a dear friend to remind you of that this week.

"Oh Father, thank you for your kindness. Thank you for always being there in the middle of chaos when we lose our focus. Help us not to lose our sight on you but if we do, Lord I pray that you place those dear ones in front of us to point us back to you. - In your holy name I pray this" - Amen.

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